Izuhiko

Every morning, the bamboo weavers in The Great Panda City place bets on what Izuhiko’s high-tech headset is actually for. The current theory is that it’s a very elaborate tea warmer. They stand guard in their tactical flack jacket, maintaining a perfect poker face while leaning on a carved cane better suited to a retired philosopher. But the eyes give it all away—they hold a perpetual look of someone who has just realized they wore their boots on the wrong feet. Last week they proudly announced they’d sent intercepted blueprints to the legendary Mekanikku. The 'blueprints' turned out to be a folded menu from a noodle stand. The city feels perfectly safe, not because of Izuhiko's tactical prowess, but because any invader would be too confused to attack.